The day after the night before
Top sassy tips for hangover cures
Well we really have to start with the obvious – don’t go there. As Sassy women, the hard reality is that being drunk at 20 is cute, at 30 it is about being a good laugh, at 40 it is looking a little jaded and at 50 it invites looks of sympathy mixed with embarrassment (for you!).
If you have gotten so blitzed that twerking with the office boss was a great idea for a party piece then you have left the Sassy zone. It will not have been your finest hour and you will wake up with the grim reality of shame and pain.
If knowing what you have done to your body is a good deterrent, then read on:
Your liver is overloaded which leaves you with galloping nausea and that feeling that it hurts to move. You will also have breath like a badger.
You have inflamed your stomach lining which adds to the nausea. If you are throwing up in the morning it is seriously inflamed and producing more acid.
You have depleted your sugar stores which makes you feel tired and fractious.
You are so dehydrated that the fluid around your brain is affected and so causes intense pain. This will also make your thinking foggy (though that might be a blessing if you reached the twerking hour!). Your stomach is also likely to be bloated.
You have killed several million brain cells. Don’t expect to be the perky intellectual today!
Dehydration and an overloaded liver causes your eyes to both hurt and look yellow/red.
In short, you have poisoned yourself. You probably look and feel like hell on legs.
OK. It sill happens. So what can you do to get your body back in balance?
- Milk Thistle. This little herb had been used for generations to support liver function. It helps the liver break down toxins more quickly and so will assist in reducing the length of your hangover. If you are sufficiently compos mentis, take a few drops in a pint of water before you go to bed and then more in the morning when you wake.
- Soothing Sassy Smoothie. If you can stand the noise of the Nutri-bullet or blender, then froth up the following:
2 cups of almond milk (to sooth your stomach)
1 cup water (rehydrate)
½ an apple (fructose will help your depleted sugars)
Slice of ginger root (for nausea and stomach soothing)
Handful of raspberries or strawberries (Vitamin C to replace what you have dehydrated out)
Half a banana (for potassium)
2 teaspoons of coconut oil (to sooth the gut and balance)
A tiny pinch of Himalayan salt (to replace depleted salt and magnesium)
Blitz together, add water if it is too thick and sip with a large glass of room temperature water (ice water is too hard for a sore tummy lining). Half-way through the smoothie, take a magnesium tablet. When you feel more settled have a slice of wholemeal or sourdough bread with a little butter for carbs.
Breakfast.An age old remedy is a full breakfast. This will certainly give energy and some say the fat will soothe your stomach. However, if you are very nauseous then a fry up is too much. Instead try:
Scrambled egg with half an avocado (protein, carbs for blood sugar balance and good fats pus vitamins)
A tomato omelette (protein with vitamin C)
Avocado on Sourdough bread (good fat, vitamins and carbs to balance blood sugar)
Medicate. If feeling really dreadful and you need rapid recovery to go into the office (and face the shame), then revert to:
Dehydration salts designed for people with extreme tummy upsets. Mix into a pint of water and then drink another pint
Ibuprofen for pain (not aspirin which inflames the stomach or paracetamol which puts more pressure on the liver).
While this pains us to say it, a can of full-fat soda (Coke, Iron Bru, Sprite) does have a mix of sugar and salt which brings a hangover under control. However, remember this is shooting about 7 spoons of sugar into your system and you are likely to be getting sugar cravings all day.
Well Sassistas, unless you are a women of abstinence or great restraint, you will have been here at least once in your life. For some, that once was years ago and the vow of ‘Never, ever, again’ delivered in the same tone as Scarlet O’Hara proclaiming ‘Ah will never be hungry again!’ in Gone with the Wind, will have remained a lifelong promise. The rest of us have fallen into the pit of ‘Never again’ and lived again.
Happy holidays – and if you over do it, then just be sassy-sensible the next day and all will be well.