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Sassy mind

No two days are ever the same. But in the second half of life we face changes from all directions. All the things which have filled life through our thirties and forties seem to disappear – the career building, the parents who were still parents, the kids who needed looking after. One day you wake up and you are a few years off retiring, your parents need parenting and the kids can’t be told what to do, what to eat and when to go to bed – if they are even there at all. We cannot stop the change – but we can face it positively.

Why do woman over 45 feel they are invisible?

Top tips for getting your self-confidence re-boosted

We all loved Harry Potter and his invisibility cloak. But we also know that when his friend, Hermione, reaches her middle years she will feel as if she has one of her own.

My discussions with women all over the UK and the USA reveal a common thread – something happens between 45 and 50 to make you feel invisible. These discussions have yielded statements such as:

This week I am angry

There are many reasons – injustice, wailing about Brexit disaster before the talks have even opened (the dumb-ass, fast-track to undermining a negotiation team), the horror of people burning alive and now politicians stating it could have been avoided (so why was it not!); politicians using the plight of these traumatised families to promote their own politicking.

The Dementia Diaries.
The day you say goodbye

This has been the hardest article to write in this series, but maybe the most important. Because those of us who have to care for a dementia patient dread and yet often pray for this day. Few, if any of us, want our parents or loved ones to die. But the torment of watching them fade away to nothing is a pain from which we want relief. 

Review: Menopause - The Musical

Starring: Cheryl Fergison, Maureen Nolan, Rebecca Wheatley, Ruth Berkeley

Menopause The Musical is on a current tour of the UK and we had the pleasure of watching the show in The Playhouse, Weston-super-Mare.

Spite for the sake of celebrity

Last week I spoke about bitterness and the ‘Woman on the train’. This week it is about spite. Why do we do it?

My thinking started with reports in the papers – tabloids and broadsheets equally guilty - about a certain Lucy Brown who went on a first date with a man she met on a dating website.

The Trouble with Bitterness

‘Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.’ Maya Angelou

I was confronted this morning on the 08.37 Waterloo to Reading train. I had sat in an area of four seats as that was the only way to keep my suitcase out of the aisle. Yes, I was blocking the seat opposite and, while I sorted out my stuff, I put a backpack on that seat. I was, like so many other commuters, just an ordinary woman with too much to carry and a job to get to.

The Problem with Democracy…

….is that you don’t always get what you want. And that seems to be a real issue with the so-called liberal elite who have lived with pretty predictable political outcomes for a few decades now. But the past few months have rocked their yacht. Those pesky plebeians have done the unthinkable – they have not done as the educated controllers wanted them to do.

The Dementia Diaries.
Top Tips for Dealing with a Care Home

In our article – choosing the care home – we covered the things to look for in a good care home. However, the work does not stop there. You need to work with the care home to ensure your parent settles in and then retain a level of monitoring to ensure they continue to have the level of care and dignity all old people deserve.

Top Tips for Making New Year Resolutions Stick

Here we are again. It’s a New Year, the tabloids are packed with predictions for the year – and all of them gloomy. Just a peak into the ‘weird’ sections tells us that Planet X is going to destroy the Earth, a tsunami will wipe out New York, more earthquakes are on the way, Italy will destabilise and cause another EU crisis – oh, and the whole of the USA will become ungovernable under President Trump while Nostradamus predictions for 2017 are reported as chilling – including the dead rising from graves!

Christmas Shopping New York Style

Well you cannot say it’s dull! The New Yorkers sure know how to do Christmas. Sassista One decided to venture out into the chilly streets of Manhattan to see what it’s really like. Don’t expect a a quiet stroll around the shops – it is free-fall chaos.

The Office Party and all that Jazz

Top tips for managing office etiquette and alcohol

It’s that time of year. Workers of the world unite in facing the whirl of parties, drinks parties and office forays into the festive season. Suddenly, all that diversity training and warnings from HR about harassment and office equality go pop with the cava cork.  A Sassy office plea for terrible party stories from our network delivered a plethora of hilarious and cringe-worthy stories including:

Trump and the female voter - what happened?

He has been described as a narcissist, an abuser of women and a sexist and although last night's exit polls do show that 54 per cent of women backed Clinton compared to 42 per cent for Trump it also shows that fewer women voted for Clinton in 2016  than for Obama in 2012. In the 2012 presidential race 55 per cent of women backed Obama while 44 per cent backed Romney. Despite all the headlines surrounding Trump, it seems they didn’t send the female vote into Clinton’s camp.

Can You Make a Career Move After 45?

Top tips for panel interview success

In our first article we looked at the psychology of going for a new job and all the fears that process raises. Today, we move on to how to be successful in a modern day selection process.

Staple diet of all selectors is the interview. In our first article we covered the basics of interview success. Today we move onto the next level - the panel interview.

These are tougher than one to ones. You are on show, on message, under the spotlight and being compared to others who you do not even know. Fun? No!

So what can you do to increase the likelihood of interview success?

The dementia diaries.
Top tips for choosing a residential home

We all dread the day – the day you have to admit to yourself and everybody that you cannot cope. Despite all those promises to yourself and to your parent that they would never go into a home, you have to face the reality that they are safer and would be better cared for by the professionals.

Top tips for changing negative thinking

Article Number One in our ‘Think yourself Sassy’ series

We have all seen her haven’t we? She is that perfectly dressed professional woman who is distinguishable by the absence of a bulging handbag of defibrillator-esque cosmetic products to get her through two hours of networking scrutiny. She has no need for root touch up powder, spare tummy control tights or the travel version of every Frizz ease product known to woman. No, this lady is the epitome of professional cool who triggers ripples of “how does she do it?” around the room from other women, in tones only decipherable by dolphins. 

Can you make a career move after 45?

Top tips for getting a new job after 45

Last month we featured Pat Duckworth’s new book, ‘Hot Women Rock – How to Discover your Midlife Entrepreneurial Mojo.’ Pat is a passionate believer in following your dreams and finding your path in life in later years. If you have a dream, we say ‘go for it.’

The dementia diaries.
When your parent suddenly hates you

How to deal with aggression and conflict with the elderly.

We do not talk about it. We cover it up. We feel ashamed that our once loving parent, (who everybody describes as ‘sweet’ or ‘lovely’, or makes those cooing noises about how sad it is that they are getting frail), is, behind closed doors, a spiteful old person who makes you want to cry.

Hot Women Rock

Review of Pat Duckworth’s book on how to find your midlife mojo.

There are more women over 50 in the workplace than ever before. Today, 64% of us are salaried compared to only 42% of us in 1985.

The Dementia Diaries. Communicating with parents with dementia

OK – let’s get the nasty bit over first. It is frustrating, annoying, worrying, exasperating, frightening, and can be extremely irritating when you are talking with your dementia-affected parent or relative. The constant repetition is one thing, but worse is the confusion and muddle you find yourself ploughing through every day.

Are we getting more safe-space sissy than Sassy?

Is Theresa May right about safe-spaces? This pc-weary woman thinks yes.

If you are a Sassita over 50 you will remember the days when we formed our beliefs and values through debate, demonstrations, demanding answers from our elders and deriding politicians with whom we disagreed. Many a beer was thrown in the student debates – but debate we did.

The dementia diaries. Spotting the early signs.

Call me Sassista Three. I am not alone – far from it – but I feel it. I live in the twilight world of my mother’s final phase of dementia. Every morning, I wake and wonder if this will be her final day in a life which is now a mere confused existence.

Theresa May – future-leader or good cook?

So Theresa May thinks Delia Smith is ‘too precise’ and prefers to follow the culinary approach of Ottolenghi. Oh, and she owns over 100 cookery books reports The Telegraph, (July 8th 2016),

The habits of very successful sassy women

Are they born? Are they trained? Are they just lucky?

Well, the Sassistas have been scouring the internet for the answers and it seems there is a bit of everything going on – but most of it is about focus and determination with a good dollop of common sense and using their brains.

Resolutions for a Sassy Summer

New Year’s resolutions are standard practice. But do they work? For most of us - no – and there are good reasons why…

  1. Most resolutions are about stopping something such as smoking, drinking, eating chocolate. So you are starting a year with a punishment. It is no surprise that most resolutions fail within a month.

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