The Courage to Change Life
We all face tough times. We all face change. We all have challenges. We all have to step out of our comfort zone at least a few times. Much of my work as a business psychologist is about building confidence. We build up skills but first we focus on giving our clients the confidence to do something different whether it is selling, managing their own clients, giving feedback, negotiating their own fees.
I stand up there, telling people often younger than me that if they build their confidence they can do anything.
So why is it that this wise old head, when facing her own challenge, dissolves into a heap of indecision? Why do I wobble in the face of change?
My life needs to change in the next five years. I will reach the point when international travel and standing in front of people giving words of advice and guidance will no longer hold its appeal. I will begin to feel like their granny instead of their guide. The years of beating up my micro-biome on long-haul flights and hotel food will catch up with me. And internally I will resent even more my lack of progress in what I love. I want to be a writer. I want to bring advice and inspiration to women my age through retreats and this website. I want to focus my business psychology work on the clients and type of work I like most and so do best. In fact, I have been saying it for years – or at least threatening it. And threatening it is the right word – because the thought of it scares me back into my indecisive wobble. So what alarms me?
- Loss of income – well, I can generate an income doing what I want
- Loss of clients who have become friends – well, I can keep in touch
- Loss of goals and challenge – I can create more and bigger ones in what I love doing
- Loss of variety – well, I will probably have more
- Loss of working with my dear friend and PA, Sassista Two – well, we can work together on Staying Sassy
- Loss of working with ‘He who is never obeyed’ – well, maybe he will be relieved!
So there is an answer to everything. But that special something to put me into action has been missing. I have consulted women wiser than I, sought financial advice, talked to friends – but the answer came, not from a mentor but from a millennial – a young woman half my age and in that generation we are so happy to call snowflakes. Last week Mevis posted her blog on Courage versus Confidence. She talks of her early days of precocious confidence and how it was battered down by spiteful girls; she talks of her hopes and dreams to change her career and do what she loves. Then she states the truth which has turned on the high-beam light for me. When facing huge change it is not confidence we need. It is Courage. Confidence will follow.
So there is no hope in analysing change to death and waiting for the confidence to do it. The fear is real; my worries are valid. But the only way forward it to take a deep breath, step forward and be brave. I just have to do it. The only thing that can die are my dreams if I don’t.